We all have that little voice inside our heads that tells us we’re not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough. This inner critic can be a powerful force that holds us back from reaching our full potential and achieving our goals. But have you ever stopped to question where exactly that voice is coming from, or what its intention might be? In this blog post I’ll talk about the source of that voice – the ego, and how you can start silencing it.
The ego is a concept in psychology that refers to our sense of self or identity. It’s the part of us that thinks, “I am this” or “I am that.” The ego helps us navigate the world by creating a sense of self, often by making comparisons, but it can also be a source of negative self-talk and self-doubt.
Your Inner Critic as Your Ego
We are living in a time where we are constantly bombarded with information – literally everywhere. And when you define your sense of self in relation to others, or the physical world, you’ll start to notice that your ego is easily threatened, and when threatened, it will try to protect itself by introducing doubt, or by criticizing and belittling you. For example, if you’re about to take on a new challenge, your ego might say, “You’re not smart enough to do this,” or “You’ll fail, and everyone will see how incompetent you are.” When you’re in the moment, those fears can feel overwhelming, like a scary dragon.
You are not your ego – you are not that voice
There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind—you are the one who hears it.
Michael Singer – The Untethered Soul
For the longest time, I was controlled by my dragon. That inner critic that told me I wasn’t enough, didn’t know enough, or I shouldn’t pursue my dreams. It encouraged me to play it safe, not take risks, don’t rock the boat. In my mind this dragon was HUGE, overpowering, and overwhelming.
As I gave direct attention to this voice, I started to notice that I am not that voice. In fact, I am the one listening to the voice. And if I am not the voice, I am not the one who is afraid. Suddenly, that scary dragon, became a lot less intimidating. And the fear I thought was mine, turned into compassion and understanding. This is not who I am, this is simply my ego trying to remain relevant.
Understanding that my inner critic is my ego, allowed me to let go of a lot of the fear and overwhelm that had long defined my sense of self, and misguided my steps. That awareness then allowed me to create a practice of keeping my ego in check, not by removing it, but by simply seeing it for what it is – not a big scary dragon, but a scared little baby who should have never been in control.
How to tame the dragon and silence that inner critic:
- Remember that you are not that voice.
Remember that you are not your ego. Visualization really helps here. See that voice as something separate from who you are; give it a name, imagine it as a non threatening creature – like a cute little baby dragon. Remember, you are capable of growing and changing, and your inner critic does not define you.
- Recognize when your inner critic is speaking.
Pay attention to the thoughts that run through your head when you’re feeling down or insecure. Often, you’ll find that your inner critic is exaggerating or even lying to you.
- Don’t negotiate with your ego
Remember, your ego is fighting to remain relevant, it lacks awareness, is constantly looking for external validation, and will never be satisfied. Don’t feed into it.
- Replace Negative Thoughts with Positive Ones
When negative thoughts creep in, try replacing them with positive ones. For example, if your ego is telling you that you’re not good enough to get the promotion, remember it’s speaking from a place of fear. Counter that thought with a positive affirmation like, “I am qualified and capable of doing this job.”
- Focus on your accomplishments.
When your inner critic is trying to get you down, take a moment to remember the accomplishments you’ve already achieved. Think about all the times you’ve succeeded in the past and remind yourself that you’re capable of achieving great things.
- Practice self-compassion.
It’s easy to be hard on ourselves when things don’t go as planned, but it’s important to practice self-compassion. You are not the setbacks you have, or the losses you encounter. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a friend who’s going through a tough time.
- Practice gratitude
Your life has purpose, and you are on this earth because there are contributions that only you can make. See every setback as a sign from the universe, steering you in a better direction. Be grateful for every lesson and see it as an opportunity for growth and development.
Conclusion
Your inner critic may be your ego talking, but it doesn’t have to hold you back. By recognizing when your inner critic is speaking, challenging it, and practicing self-compassion and gratitude, you can silence your ego and move forward with confidence. Remember, you are not the negative self-talk in your head, and with a little practice, you can overcome self-doubt and achieve your goals.
No Comments