“I’d rather have four quarters than a hundred pennies”
Like many people, I started the new year with a new found drive to get more organized and get rid my my junk. I took a hard look at the contents of my house and found that in just about every room, I had items that I don’t use, don’t need, but have held on to over the years. So, when I came across Marie Kondo’s Netflix show “Tidying Up” I was intrigued. On the show, Marie visits the homes of different people and she helps them de-clutter and simplify their homes. She does this by demonstrating a unique approach called the KonMarie method.
By the end of each episode the clutter is gone, the clients are happy, and there’s a sense of well being all around. While clearing out clutter might appear to be a purely physical exercise, I’ve found that it also tends to have a profoundly positive effect on your emotional state.
As I decided to apply the steps I learned from the show to clear out my closet, it occurred to me that a lot of her advice can actually be applied to life. Here’s how I apply the KonMarie steps to life.
Start with stillness. There is power in being still. I’ve found that without fail, whenever I start my day with meditation, I have more clarity and focus. By simply beginning each day with the phrase “Thank You” then proceeding to take just a few long, slow deep breaths – perhaps for around 3-5 minutes, I actually feel an internal shift happening and I feel more aligned with the goals I plan to accomplish.
Rule 1 – Commit: Changing patterns can be challenging, especially when it comes to establishing a new morning routine, like meditating or working out. I’ve found that the most important step in the process is often committing to the process. Even if it’s just committing for a full month as a trial period. Commitment is key.
Rule 2 – Visualize: Visualization is such a powerful tool in the manifestation process, and I like to take things a bit deeper. While it’s great to have a clear picture of the end goal, it’s equally important to see the positives in this current state. Imagine enjoying your life right now (before you lose the weight, get the job, quit the job, get that relationship etc…). Take a few minutes to picture being blissfully happy now, not as a consequence of some future action. What tweaks would you need to make internally for that to happen? Once you start seeing the beauty in the present, you’ll experience an internal shift and create the momentum to propel you forward. One of the best ways to start this practice is to start a gratitude journal. Try committing for just 30 days. Every day at the end of the day, write down at least 5 things that you are grateful for. You could even go a step further and add in the highlight of the day. Guaranteed, this practice will greatly improve your life and sense of well being.
Rule 3 – Finish discarding first. One of the biggest mistakes we make when cleaning a space is jumping ahead of ourselves with the organizing stage. We are often quick to start finding homes for things we don’t eve use. While on the surface this might seem like a good solution (the space will look tidy after all) it’s inevitable that we’ll relapse and soon be drowning in clutter once again. We need to get rid of stuff and not try to find creative ways to keep it. Same goes with relationships that don’t add value to our lives. Trying to find ways to tolerate or accommodate negative people is a fruitless cause. Instead of trying to find a way to fit them in our lives, what we really need to do is part ways. It’s also important to practice gratitude in this step. Every interaction is here to teach us something (if we are willing to pay attention), as you cut ties, take a moment to be thankful for the lesson, then move on.
Rule 4 – Tidy by category, not by location. Yesterday I sat down to write, after about 5 minutes I got up to make myself a cup of tea, saw that there were dishes in the sink, and proceeded to do the dishes. Has that happened to you? As expected, I never quite made it back to writing. We are multifaceted complex beings, all the aspects of our lives are connected, but when it comes to sparking real change, it helps to focus on one thing at a time. If you’re tackling your diet, make it a focus, put your other goals to the side temporarily and give your full attention to creating meal plans and finding recipes etc. Once you have a routine in place, then proceed to the next goal.
Step 5 – Follow the right order. Before you can work on your relationships with others, you have to have a solid relationship with yourself. I’ve learned that by focusing on my confidence and sense of self worth, I’m better equipped to be a good parent, wife, and friend. Taking the time to make peace with your past, and determine the root cause of your behaviors will save a lot of time on the back end.
Rule 6 – Ask yourself if it sparks joy. How do you know if you’re on the right path? Ask yourself how it feels. If it feels good, that’s good. Of course that doesn’t mean you’ll feel great all the time – when I start a new workout routine I feel pretty exhausted while I’m doing it; but once the workout is complete, I often feel a sense of well being, pride, and accomplishment. Even if you’re not loving the task at hand, are you loving what it’s leading you towards? Does the big picture bring joy? For example, you might loathe having to get up early to take your kids to school, but even more than that, you love the chance it provides to catch up and bond with them every morning. If what you’re doing today makes you feel great about life, and excited about your future – keep going! If it doesn’t, it’s time to do something else.
Whether you’re dealing with a physical space, or working on yourself internally, I’ve found that simple is often the best approach. Quality is better than quantity. Start small with one area in your life and slowly build momentum. Try not to over complicate things, and try not to put your happiness on hold until something external occurs. Start celebrating, appreciating and honoring your life (and your space) today.
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