Taking Control of Negative Situations (it’s as easy as ABC!)

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel as if you are putting your best foot forward, you are bringing your positive energy to a situation, but then someone says or does something and you’re immediately thrown off? Or what about those days when you’re feeling a little stressed out to begin with, but then something happens and just takes you down a deep angry path that you can’t pull yourself out off?

Frustrations can happen every day, and when you’re in the moment, it can seem like all your efforts to be a positive grounded person fall completely by the wayside and you’re overcome with negative emotions like anger, fear, and resentment.

So how so you pull yourself out of that?

First– Take 5 very deep, slow breaths…let the air completely fill your lungs with the inhale, then allow your lungs to completely empty with each exhale…try not to think about the event, instead, focus all of your energy and attention to your breathing. This simple exercise puts you in a frame of mind that will allow you to manifest a better result.

Second – use the ABCDE approach to regaining control of the situation. This strategy will help you separate yourself from the event you’re experiencing and really look objectively at your response. Here’s an example of how this works – ask yourself the questions bellow:

A: What was the Adversity or Activating event?

(example: I missed my workout yesterday)

B: What Beliefs were triggered? What assumptions did I make? What was my negative self-talk?

(example: I’m undisciplined. I never follow through on my commitments. I’m a loser.)

C: What were the Consequences of those beliefs? What actions did it lead me to take?/ What feelings came as a result?

(example: I feel discouraged, I feel bad about myself and I want to give up on working out completely because I don’t think I’ll be able to pull off my fitness goals.)

D: How can I Dispute those beliefs with facts?

(example: Yes I missed my workout, but this doesn’t define my passions or capabilities. I can set an alarm, I can schedule my workouts, and I can structure my other tasks around ensuring that I am able to meet my fitness commitments.)

E: What was the Effect or impact of disputing your old belief?

(example: I am encouraged, hopeful, and motivated to try again)

Next time you find yourself caught in a negative headspace, take a few breathes, then take an objective look at what is actually happening. You’ll find that if you’re able to change your beliefs (that negative self talk), and focus on the facts, you’ll have the clarity to move forward with the positive energy you’ll need to manifest the outcome you desire.